Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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