My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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