Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
