tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she pinky promised me she was 18
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
