He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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