If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
