She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
