so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
