apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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