The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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