I would go down on you faster than GM stock
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
