You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
These tits shall not be calmed
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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