is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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