yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
