to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
