Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
