these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
