I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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