Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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