i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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