No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
