I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
