I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
