Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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