If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
