so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
