Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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