I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
