dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
and you fell through a lawn chair
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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