Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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