its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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