I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Ladies don't puke and tell
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
