good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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