shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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