She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
vagina is talking i cant
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is Oprah even human
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
