then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
