I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
