Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
