yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
