You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We need to get me chipped asap
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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