he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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