Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
