yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
