Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize