i think i have two assholes
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
