did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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