I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
