so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
