So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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