She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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