Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
