it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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