guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
