Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
