listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Are we still banned from the library?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
