Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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